I love this article in every possible way. The Spice Girls were awesome and feminist, and everyone who says otherwise can take a hike.

/childhood! 

100percenthipster:

insanityisfree:

melrosediner:

anonymousjuice:

teasingjezebelle:

an0m0ly:

Damage

This is not my usual post. But it’s something I had to share. As you read this, imagine how your reaction would differ if this story were being told by a woman, talking about how her husband treated her.

I have been separated from my wife for over a year, though we continue to share a house. We live on separate floors. We share the house because we need to parent our son together, and because we can’t afford to maintain two households.

I’d like to tell you a story, illustrating one reason why I am divorcing her. This is an example of the treatment I have received over the past fourteen years.

This evening, while she was drinking her wine, my estranged wife took exception to the fact that I wanted to talk about how tense she’s been. She said she didn’t want to talk about it.

I left the room (so as to comply with her request).

I went upstairs to use our tiny guest bathroom. She began to yell and throw things around the kitchen, then eventually charged up the stairs and into the bathroom, just as I was finishing and getting ready to leave. She confronted me there, holding her half-full wine glass in her hand. Her voice got louder, her gestures wilder. 

She complained that I had upset her by wanting to talk when she had told me she didn’t want to talk. As I began to feel uncomfortable, I said, “You’re saying it’s my fault you can’t express your emotions responsibly like an adult?”

She said, “Yes!! It’s because you want to go off and take a vacation with your girlfriend!” Then she threw the contents of her glass in my face and smashed it against my bare chest.

The results are pictured here.

I stood there, with shattered glass at my feet, glass shards sticking in my skin, bleeding, for five minutes or so. I asked her to move so that I could leave. She waved the broken stem of the glass in the air and said, “Leave!! Who’s stopping you?”

I told her she was standing between me and the door. I felt threatened. 

She laughed and said, “You’re 6 foot 3 and 250 pounds! You can’t feel threatened by me!”

I said, “You just broke a glass on my chest and cut me. You’re standing there with the stem in your hands. Yes. I feel threatened.

She said, “No, you don’t.”

I asked her to move out of the way and let me pass. I didn’t want her to think I was pushing her or threatening her.

She held her ground, waved the broken stem and shouted, “Go on! Leave! I’m not stopping you!”

After I asked her repeatedly, she finally moved a bit and I left, carefully stepping over the broken glass.

I have posted this here as evidence, and to help those who may think that size and gender make a difference when abuse is concerned. People who, like my estranged, think some have permission to feel threatened and some don’t.

Abusers come in all sizes and genders.

She and I went to a half dozen therapists over the years. At each initial session, every therapist took a look at me, then at her (5’4” 150 lbs.). Then he or she would gravely ask my wife, “Do you feel safe?”

None ever thought to ask me.

Thanks for listening.

Because this needs to be shared. Because abuse is wrong no matter what. Because this saddens my heart.

:(

honestly, fuck tumblr. if this was a woman this would be the only thing on my dash.

with that being said, fuck people who think that women are the only ones that can be abused in a relationship. and fuck crazy women, as well.

Fuck abuse. This should have the ten thousand notes that  every women’s domestic abuse case has.

Regards,

IIF 

I’m glad to see something like this on my dashboard finally. Not the fact that he got abused by his wife, but to show that not only women are victims of abuse (like so many women claim). It’s a shame that so many stupid people out there think -and defend- only women when it comes to abuse and not men.

While it’s terrible that this happened, and women do (occasionally) abuse men in relationships, I feel it’s important - vitally so - to recognize and remember that the vast majority of domestic abusers are men. The VAST majority.

Maybe if this post and its responses had contained a bit less “but think of the men, you dumb women!” I would have more sympathy and less disdain, but as it is— I loathe “but what about the MEN!?” type sentiments, and this definitely qualifies. Men are privileged in our society. By and large, men are not threatened, harassed or abused by women (some are, but they are few). By and large, men are the threateners, the harassers, and the abusers of women.

(This is especially directed towards the tumblr user above who responded by directly accuses women of only thinking abuse happens to women, in an attempt to shame them.)

I have nothing against helping men who have been or are victims of domestic abuse, but I feel like every time a story like this comes around, everyone jumps up to say that male-directed domestic abuse should be focused on and a priority and we should remind everyone it’s possible… above and beyond woman-directed domestic abuse, despite the fact that it is SIGNIFICANTLY less common (and by significantly read here as “for every one hundred abused women, there might be one or two abused men”). It reads as a typical vaguely-sexist “but what about the MEN” appeal, and turns me way off whatever the post is about.

So please, think before you chastise women - or anyone - for thinking that a crime that is nearly ALWAYS committed against women is nearly always committed against women, or that women need to be considered the priority here. Because it’s seriously not cool.

All that said, I hope the man in the original story gets the help that he needs to distance himself from his abusive wife.

(via dreamerofworlds)

Back on Tumblr! Yay! Would have been earlier, but a) exhaustion is a bad look on me and b) my internet was down this morning. Obviously it’s back up now (I don’t do lengthy Tumblr posts from my phone, Swype hates me and I have a thing about misspellings).

Anyway, I dropped my girlfriend off for the bus home earlier, boo. I’m pretty sad, but I guess you guys benefit because I can post more? Bright sides, etc.

So, speaking of which, let’s talk about the latest episode of Supernatural, “The Slice Girls.

This episode was… wow. I think I turned to my girlfriend as soon as it was over and said, “I’m really glad that I’m not invested in this show anymore.” It was so bad I had to pause and rant several times within the episode. I described it to my aunt later as looking like “they’d been told they’re being sexist so many times and, instead of learning, decided to take that as permission to just go all-out with it.”

Spoilers begin now.

So, we begin the episode by finding out that men are being murdered, with strange symbols carved into their chests and their hands and feet cut off. Okay, that’s an okay setup, but it gets problematic, fast, as it turns out that the ones doing the killing are Amazons.

Amazons. As in, the strong Greek women who kept away from men and only used them for procreation (to my knowledge, they did not, in the original myths, kill the men? Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong).

In Supernatural, the Amazons seem to exist simply to demonstrate/”prove” some really sexist cultural tropes in America. For example, the whole “evil women just have sex with unsuspecting men so they can get pregnant~” screed, with a side of “gold digger” with all the men being successful. Not to mention, you know, the complete demonization of women who don’t want to be with men but might want to have children, but I’ll get to that in full momentarily.

To make matters worse, it turns out that the daughters of the Amazons are the ones killing their fathers. Immediately I know how it’s going to turn out: Someone is going to kill that little girl, and that someone is going to be Sam. Lo and behold.

(Somewhere in here, Sam starts telling Dean that Emma isn’t “really” his daughter. Er, since he contributed half her DNA, yes she is. Even if he isn’t a father to her, she’s still genetically his daughter. Sam, stop saying shit to try to make yourself feel less guilty. You killed a little girl.)

I won’t even… wait, yes I will, what the fuck were the writers thinking having Sam shoot that little girl?! She was THREE DAYS OLD, physically only sixteen! She hadn’t killed anyone, and the Amazons were shown to only kill one person (their father) in their lives. Ergo, if they convinced her not to kill Dean, she could have gone on to… not kill people. Shooting her was both morally wrong and STUPID. That the writers thought it was okay to show their hero shooting and killing a young girl who, as yet, hadn’t harmed anyone? They’re pretty out of touch.

(I’ve seen a number of people propose that this was “payback” for Amy at the beginning of the series. Major differences that should make people rethink that: Amy had actually killed people and, if her son got sick again, she would probably kill more people; Dean let Amy’s son go even though he would inevitably kill people, proving that on Supernatural, children’s lives are only valued if they’re male; oh yeah, Amy wasn’t THREE DAYS OLD; and finally, women’s lives are not fodder for some “tit-for-tat” sibling rivalry)

But that’s just the story. Let’s get to the meat of the sexism here: The demonization of women who don’t need men.

The Amazons don’t like men. They don’t need them or want them around. They want to have children, though, so they sleep with men in order to become pregnant, but don’t keep the man in their lives. Apparently, the Supernatural writers thought this was such a horrible idea — women who don’t need men!? Oh my stars! — that they needed to demonize these women and make them ~evil (because what is more evil than a woman who doesn’t need or want a man, am I right?).

(And I looked — just on Wikipedia, but still — and no, the Amazons of myth did not kill their sexual partners. They did kill or send away any male children that resulted from that sex, but infanticide was hardly uncommon or taboo at the time, particularly in myth. So recreating the Amazons as murderers of men is both ridiculous and sexist.)

The Amazons in the show are presented as being every bit as bad as the other monsters the show has portrayed, despite that they kill only once in their lives, where those other monsters kill habitually and often recreationally. I suppose that a woman who kills a man must be so horrible to them that it stacks up.

And you know, I’m not saying women should be allowed to kill men or something (lest one of the jerks from the other day show up to suggest it). I personally think Supernatural shouldn’t have tried to portray Amazons AT ALL — it doesn’t make sense and it just stinks of a sexist and anti-feminist agenda.

But then, what do I know? I’m just a woman who doesn’t want or need a man. I must be just as bad as those Amazons.

And that’s not even really going into depth on the whole “female children are expendable, male children are valuable” shit Supernatural has going on this season. (THREE DAYS, you fuckers. Anyone who is okay with Sam shooting that girl… well, let’s just say I have problems with you. BIG ones.)

Suffice to say, though I won’t go into further depth on it because I feel I have addressed my points sufficiently and also because I am.. going to Target with my aunt soon and can’t be online typing a screed against Supernatural all night, that this episode was fucking disgusting and incredibly sexist.

Way to go, Supernatural. You made me really, really glad that I stopped watching and giving a fuck about you. I hope you’re really happy.

Actually, no, wait, I hope you’re fucking miserable, you sexist garbage.  

Hey, so, I know there’s this huge epic ~thing going on here now about sexism in media, people have been sending me asks, reblogging my posts, etc., and I am really sort of enjoying it even if the sheer amount of Feminism 101 stuff I’m dealing with here is really wearing me out and frustrating me. I love to help people learn and understand about things, especially feminism, so I’m totally not averse to well-phrased and decent questions.

However, several of the responses I have gotten have been outright attacks, or people openly trying to guage the “validity” of my feminism, and that is not cool. Please stop this shit.

THAT SAID,I will not be further responding to asks or reblogs until Sunday afternoon or evening.

My girlfriend is here and is getting even more tired of my making these posts than I am, and she deserves my attention a lot more. I don’t like taking time away from the time I have with her to respond to this kind of thing.

So, this discussion and discourse can resume on Sunday evening. Until then— ta!

fieryenigma asked: Just happened to see everything that's been going on here, and I have to ask: do you only fight sexism against females, or do males get some support here too?

There is no such thing as sexism against men. No -ism can be committed against the privileged class (for example, you cannot be sexist towards men, you cannot be racist towards white people, etc.).

Institutional, cultural and societal sexism against men simply DOES NOT EXIST. Ergo, there is nothing to “support.” Virtually all instances of gender bias against men has its roots in sexism against women.

So no, I do not protest the mythical fantasy of “sexism against men” that men have invented because they feel threatened by feminism. 

lukefuentes:

Well the thing is I was having a debate with you. You’ve been replying this entire time. As opposed to ignoring me. I’m not attacking you either. So I don’t see that there is a deference for me to recognize here with the discussion that’s happening. I don’t really know if you’re trying to take a stab at my intelligence. Or anything else remotely like that.

Just know the more hostile you act, the less impact your words will have.

With you, sure, more of a debate thing. With the guys who responded to my post telling me stupid shit about how “women dress like sluts so it’s okay to objectify and fetishize them,” no.

I don’t really see anything wrong with being hostile when upset. Especially when I’ve had people (men) being assholes to me all night. I get snarky when I’m offended, and I won’t apologize for that.

I will apologize if you found anything I said insulting, yourself, as you’ve been fairly reasonable in this discussion (though some of your remarks are apologetic.. in the sense that you seem to be trying to dismiss the offense over the sexism in the game, etc.).

This whole thing has made me really frustrated, honestly. I was attacked for absolutely no good reason, my girlfriend’s internet is down, and I didn’t eat dinner, so sue me. :|

(Source: ohmister)

lukefuentes:

You know, I didn’t say it was all men excited for this game. This doesn’t have anything to do with “some crybaby guys can’t handle a woman calling out a game they’re anticipating because it uses sexist imagery” either. You’re speaking as if people are upset at you because you’re a women? And that can’t handle what you are saying because it came from a woman’s mouth? That’s pushing it a little far. Nobody is becoming a “cry baby” because of your gender. Nor is your gender really relevant to the debate at hand in all honesty. Anybody can be disgusted by something, be it sexually explicit, insensitive, violent or otherwise. What I’m trying to say is that you don’t have to subject your self to anything you don’t want to. Don’t play the game. Let other’s enjoy the game. Just as you planned. And be at peace. There’s no reason to attack people (Let alone the male gender as a whole) because there are some folks willing to have a debate with you. If having a discussion with you about the morality of games is reasons to call somebody a “Cry baby” then maybe the whole debate business isn’t for you.

Actually, by “crybaby guys” I meant the specific guys who have been getting all up-in-arms at me for calling a sexist game sexist. (And yes, a lot of guys do have serious issues with women who call out sexist things. Especially if the thing is something they’re interested in. And considering the liberal use of sexist slurs in the discussion [eg “slut”, “feminazi”], I seriously doubt that my gender has nothing to do with the reaction I got.)

I really don’t like, actually, the whole “live and let live” thing when it means basically ignoring sexism and not calling it out. I’m not saying no one can like the game - I would be lying if I said I’ve never liked things that were sexist before. But ffs at least ACKNOWLEDGE the problematic aspects of the media you’re buying into.

And this wasn’t a debate. It was my posting an undirected note to my blog and being attacked for it. I’d kindly ask you to recognize the difference. 

(Source: ohmister)

lukefuentes:

Well I feel like people who are reblogging images of this game are people who understand it (Not saying that you don’t) and who are genuinely excited for it to come out. You can be sick and tired of the images all you want. But it’s not really a reason to be upset nearly this much. These people are excited, they want to play something like this And they aren’t excited to play it because they think it’s going to be a rad game that let’s you degrade women. They aren’t playing it to rub one out. They are playing it because a game that mocks this genre is interesting to them. I feel like if you have a very huge problem with so many different aspects of gaming. Then you need not insert your self into that culture. You can say “I don’t want to play that game”. proceed to not play it and have fun enjoying games that speak to you.

See, here’s the thing: Mocking a genre or not, sexism in any media (or in any form, for that matter) is still BAD. It should still be objected to and spoken about. It should still be called out.

The game itself and in particular its advertisement imagery is offensive; it is objectifying and fetishizing.

And I am not, under any circumstances, going to just stop talking about it because I might upset some men who are really excited for a really sexist game.

And I am perfectly allowed to be part of “gamer culture.” (I am not, notably, “inserting myself” into that culture; I AM part of that culture. It’s not like I’m forcing people to look at me, read the words I say, talk to me or game with me.) I have been for YEARS. I’m certainly not leaving because some crybaby guys can’t handle a woman calling out a game they’re anticipating because it uses sexist imagery.

Finally, I DID say I would not play the game. Specifically, this is the exact text of the post that I wrote that started all of this:

 I am so incredibly fucking tired of seeing this “Lollipop Chainsaw” game on my dash.

I fucking hate everything about that game ALREADY, and it’s not even out yet.

As I’ve said before wrt this game: Sexism does not sell to me. Just… fuck the designers who decided that in order to have an action game with a female protagonist, she had to wear essentially a sports bra and a skirt so short it’s a wonder you can’t see her underwear 24/7… though they show said underwear a lot anyway because they apparently think everyone loves “panty shots”.

Seriously, what company made that game? I want to make sure I never give them money.

I fail to see what’s so incendiary about that. I said I hate the game and think it’s sexist. It’s nothing I’ve said before. These guys are taking it as some kind of BIG HUGE DEAL. It’s not. It was MY OPINION on this game. I fail to see what about it is so infuriating and threatening to the guys who have been swamping my Tumblr in response to it.

And thank you, I will continue to play the games that I enjoy. I will also continue to call out games that are full of sexist filth - because that’s not okay, no matter WHAT genre the game is, and no matter WHO likes it.

(And for the record, only one person I follow has been reblogging the images. I’ve just been seeing them DAY AFTER DAY.)

(Source: ohmister)

lukefuentes:

THE GODDAMN BATMANNY: ohmister: trevevseraphim: Bullshit it doesn’t help.This game is gonna…

ohmister:

trevevseraphim:

Bullshit it doesn’t help.

This game is gonna be awesome.

You’re just too angsty to see it for what it is: awesomeness.

And you can get skins for it, dumbass.

Google that shit, you can get an Ash skin that completely covers all the good bits.

You can also…

Is somebody dissing a suda51 game? NUH UH UH.

I’m a little confused when some folks get confused by something that has Grindhouse/exploitation roots. I suppose not everybody will enjoy the satire. But I don’t think it’s any different than House of the Dead:Overkill or WET. Both of which I enjoy greatly. I don’t know, things like this. It’s so damned obvious what it’s supposed to be/mocking/poking fun at/indulging. I just don’t understand where the confusion and controversy come from.

We’re upset because a game has a girl with a large chest and a mini skirt? But we’re totally okay with things like Call of Duty fetishizing guns, violence and military super power in a less satirical way. 

I’m not familiar with those games. I don’t play “grindhouse” style games. I’m calling out this game because I’m freaking tired of seeing objectifying pictures of a woman in a tiny skirt flashing her panties at me on my dash every damn day in ads for this game. This wasn’t intended to become some huge debate on the merits of freaking Lollipop Chainsaw. I was just annoyed because I don’t like that shit on my dash all the time.

And actually, I do have a lot of issues with games like Call of Duty, Medal of Honor, etc. I don’t play them, I don’t socialize frequently with people who do, and if given the opportunity, I will voice my displeasure with games of that genre.

I feel I should state, for the record, that I primarily play science fiction and fantasy games. My favorite games are Mass Effect 2, Skyrim, and Fallout 3. I play a lot of RPGs. I love survival horror games, in particular the Silent Hill and Fatal Frame series. I am incredibly picky about my games and I do not play mindless gore games or games with intense objectification of women or other sexism. 

batmanny-beyond:

ohmister:

I tend to get “up in arms” about sexist garbage. And yes, the sexist garbage in question is Lollipop Chainsaw.

And I would be “chilled out” if people didn’t insist on spamming fucking promotional images from the game all over my dash. This was all in response to a post I made on my blog expressing my distaste for having to see LC pantyshot pictures all over my dash every single goddamn day.

Also, “feminazi” is really offensive. And getting offended by sexism is not something anyone should have to justify or “chill the fuck out” about. Sexism is BAD, guys. No matter how minor it seems, no matter how supposedly “excusable.” It’s bad shit and NOBODY should perpetuate it.

How mad were you when Bayonetta came out? 

Serious question.

Pissed off and calling it out all over my internet haunts of the time, being called an “overreacting feminazi” for my trouble and hating on it.

Just in case you were trying to act like I’m somehow inconsistent in my hate-on for sexist video games, I’m not. I fucking hated Bayonetta from the day I heard about it.

I am, if nothing else, picky about my video games. I don’t play games that are sexist.

(via 8bitracism)